Guilty as Charged

Confession time. I admit it. I am slightly obessessed. If you know me well, then you will know how much I love Top Gear. If you have read my first edition of ranting about teenagers, then you will know that I love Top Gear. If not, then in case you haven't already realised, I love Top Gear.

If you don't watch Top Gear, or you just don't like Jeremy Clarkson, please don't stop reading. My mission in life is to get everyone watching Top Gear, so that it never goes off air. If you are thinking, "I don't like cars. I don't care about them.", don't worry, it is not really a car show, it is simply (to quote Clarkson) "three middle aged men falling over, while a car power slides in the background". IF you don't know what a power slide is, research it. If you don't believe me, watch it. It's very true.

Despite controversy on my methods of making people watch Top Gear, i.e. tying them up in front of the tv and pinning their eyes open (I am kidding by the way...). I have managed to turn quite a few people to, what the non-believers call, the dark side, without tying them up...what no I said I was joking about that... Rephrase, without being democratic about it...that's a bit better...I suppose.

Anyway! Back on track again. Lost my train of thought now. Oh yeah, I remember. If you don't like a certain Mr Clarkson, have no fear about him. He maybe a tad extravagant at times, and not the best role model in the world, but at times he is absolutely HILARIOUS. If you find the short bloke irritating on Total Wipeout, and don't watch Top Gear because he is not funny at times on TW, he is funny of Top Gear, because it is more natural.

If you find James May annoying. Get off my blog. There is no way you can find this man annoying. He is absolutely hilarious, with his dry sense of humour and bad fashion sense and hair. He is so different from the other two, but there is no way Top Gear could have been a success without him, people would have been driven absolutely mad with just the other two.

In short I encourage to watch Top Gear, if you need better reasons than it is absolutely hilarious. I suggest you go and see a councillor.

Popularity

Wow. Someone became popular quickly. Over 500 hits in less than a week?! Now that may not seem a lot to you established bloggers out there, but to little, old, me - that is quite an achievement! Bearing in mind I managed to only get 200 hits in a year and a half, it's quite impressive.

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That's a bit of a change...

Now, you may think I am bragging a bit here and too be honest - I am. I don't care, because I don't know you and I am genuinely very proud of myself! I love blogging, it is my escape. My chance to pour out my mind onto the internet. To confide in people I have never met. Clearly someone out there agrees with me. So I must be doing something right - right? Anyway getting off track here. What I really wanted to say was 'thankyou'. It really means a lot to me that people out there like what I write about because I enjoy writing it. To know someone actually takes the time out of their (probably) extremely busy lives to read my blog, is really very nice. I am not the most popular girl at school, I mean I have friends, just no-one really wants to BE me, if you follow my gist.

Back to the point, one thing that is bugging me though, is where all these people suddenly came from. I mean, how did you all find me? Through Twitter? Through Blogger somehow? The only lead I have is that someone has searched for me on Google because that says where all my blog 'traffic' has come from. It really has baffled me. Though I am just grateful people have come from somewhere! I appear to have a large audience in America, which is nice. If you are one of those people, please comment and let me know how you find out about me! I would love to know.

Right that's it. Big heart pour out over. Americans and (made up word alert!) elsewhere-ians  you can close my blog now. Brits hang about a sec, one thing for you, I am very much in support of Children in Need, which as you probably know, is this Friday. One thing I ask is to give generously to a fantastic cause which helps children in Britain and all over the world. Every penny counts, it all adds up to helping - children in need.

Teenage Fashion (Mark 2)

Now, I do realise I am a teenager and no, I have not gone completely mad. I hate to sound like a grumpy OAP, but teenage fashion genuinely gets on my nerves.

To begin explaining why my own species fashion gets on my nerves, I will begin with the boys. I seriously wonder what they are thinking when they wear their trousers around their knees.  I recently discovered this strange fashion came from the prisons of America; gay men would where their trousers low in order to signify they were ‘available’. In my mind, I do not see the appeal of looking like a gay, American criminal. Maybe they just don’t realise the roots of this absurd fashion. Even if they don’t know, how on earth is waddling down the street due to decreased eased of walking cool, or even comfortable? I have no desire to see what brand of underwear you are wearing, boys, nor, in my mind, is it very attractive either. I found a brilliant saying on ‘Facebook’ recently – “Excuse me mister gangster, sir. Your trousers appear to be descending.” Not often does ‘Facebook’ speak sense, this is one exception. One other male fashion I cannot understand is the combination of low trousers, belts and t-shirts. If you are going to wear your trousers like a gay, American criminal – there is absolutely no need to wear a belt, because it is not going to do anything. Neither is it necessary to then tuck the front of your t-shirt into the belt at the front, just to show off the belt buckle. Boys, trousers are there to be used properly, belts are there to keep the trousers up, and t-shirts are not there to keep the belts up.

I hope those underpants were clean on...

Let me just make this clear, I am not sexist and boys are definitely not the biggest offenders. I am ashamed to say some of the biggest offenders, are my own kind – girls. My jaw drops as I sit in town in winter, wrapped up in a scarf and a big, fluffy, warm coat and I see what looks like a beaten up, black eyed, clay pot of a girl walking past. Tripping over skyscraper high heels and wearing mega short skirts, which would make women in ‘short’ skirts in the 1960’s look like nuns. No doubt, my comedian of a dad would have said to these girls, “Excuse me, if you drop anything. Kick it home”. Wise words indeed. Though the worst offenders by far, I am happy to say are not teenagers. They are the thirty-somes. The women having an early mid-life crisis. The ones you see in ‘Primark’ looking at the size ten dress (which is clearly going to be too small) also being looked at by the sixteen year old. In other words, the older women wearing teenage fashion. As my jaw drops open at the sixteen year old in the skyscraper heels, my jaw then plunges into the centre of the earth at the thirty-some in the same outfit, attempting to stand up with dignity after falling flat on the floor, after tripping the heels that are now being put in the bin. No doubt these women would rather walk barefoot through the centre of town than risk tripping over again. The outfits are diabolical, clearly neither the teenagers nor the 30 somes, looked in the mirror when the left the house that morning.
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Do you think this is suitable for work girls? Or any occaision actually?

In conclusion, I still am none the wiser about teenage fashion. If you any clue about what possesses these people to dress as they do, I congratulate you. You are one in a million.