Teenage Fashion (Mark 2)

Now, I do realise I am a teenager and no, I have not gone completely mad. I hate to sound like a grumpy OAP, but teenage fashion genuinely gets on my nerves.

To begin explaining why my own species fashion gets on my nerves, I will begin with the boys. I seriously wonder what they are thinking when they wear their trousers around their knees.  I recently discovered this strange fashion came from the prisons of America; gay men would where their trousers low in order to signify they were ‘available’. In my mind, I do not see the appeal of looking like a gay, American criminal. Maybe they just don’t realise the roots of this absurd fashion. Even if they don’t know, how on earth is waddling down the street due to decreased eased of walking cool, or even comfortable? I have no desire to see what brand of underwear you are wearing, boys, nor, in my mind, is it very attractive either. I found a brilliant saying on ‘Facebook’ recently – “Excuse me mister gangster, sir. Your trousers appear to be descending.” Not often does ‘Facebook’ speak sense, this is one exception. One other male fashion I cannot understand is the combination of low trousers, belts and t-shirts. If you are going to wear your trousers like a gay, American criminal – there is absolutely no need to wear a belt, because it is not going to do anything. Neither is it necessary to then tuck the front of your t-shirt into the belt at the front, just to show off the belt buckle. Boys, trousers are there to be used properly, belts are there to keep the trousers up, and t-shirts are not there to keep the belts up.

I hope those underpants were clean on...

Let me just make this clear, I am not sexist and boys are definitely not the biggest offenders. I am ashamed to say some of the biggest offenders, are my own kind – girls. My jaw drops as I sit in town in winter, wrapped up in a scarf and a big, fluffy, warm coat and I see what looks like a beaten up, black eyed, clay pot of a girl walking past. Tripping over skyscraper high heels and wearing mega short skirts, which would make women in ‘short’ skirts in the 1960’s look like nuns. No doubt, my comedian of a dad would have said to these girls, “Excuse me, if you drop anything. Kick it home”. Wise words indeed. Though the worst offenders by far, I am happy to say are not teenagers. They are the thirty-somes. The women having an early mid-life crisis. The ones you see in ‘Primark’ looking at the size ten dress (which is clearly going to be too small) also being looked at by the sixteen year old. In other words, the older women wearing teenage fashion. As my jaw drops open at the sixteen year old in the skyscraper heels, my jaw then plunges into the centre of the earth at the thirty-some in the same outfit, attempting to stand up with dignity after falling flat on the floor, after tripping the heels that are now being put in the bin. No doubt these women would rather walk barefoot through the centre of town than risk tripping over again. The outfits are diabolical, clearly neither the teenagers nor the 30 somes, looked in the mirror when the left the house that morning.
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Do you think this is suitable for work girls? Or any occaision actually?

In conclusion, I still am none the wiser about teenage fashion. If you any clue about what possesses these people to dress as they do, I congratulate you. You are one in a million.